I'm Tired. So Tired.

I'm tired of being sad.
I'm tired of feeling hurt and lonely.
I'm tired of trying to forget things that I want to remember and keep with me.
I'm tired of pretending so hard to be happy.
I'm tired of my friends not really, truly understanding.
I'm tired of wanting someone to love.
I'm tired of wanting to love myself.
I'm tired of struggling through everyday just to end up having to do it all over again.
I'm tired of doing struggling over and over and over again.
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of wanting.
I'm tired of fucking my life away.
I'm tired of trying to drink my pain away.
I'm tired of the things that I used to love not bringing me pleasure.
I'm tired of thinking.
I'm tired of everything in my head and in my heart.
I'm tired of trying to understand it.
I'm tired of trying to make sense of it.
I'm tired of trying to get over it, to forget it, to leave it behind me.
I'm tired of trying to turn my back and walk away from it.
I'm tired trying to do it all.
I'm tired of feeling I'm not capable.
I'm tired of feeling I'm not strong enough.
I'm tired of not knowing what I want.
I'm tired of losing the fight.
I'm tired of reality.
I'm tired of me.