Friday was the day I finally got in to see a psychiatrist. Earlier than expected and also earlier than anyone else could do for me. Funny thing how I found her on my own and saw her before the system could set something up for me.
She was great! Understanding, patient, listened, explained, asked questioned, let me ask questions. I am on the first week of new meds right now. Well, not totally new. What she did was keep me on my current drug fluoxetine (aka Prozac) but took me down from 40 mg/day to 20 mg/day. To this she has added 37.5 mg/day of venlafaxine (aka Effexor) for 5 days and then after 5 days take 75 mg of the Effexor until I see her on May 8th. She also prescribed lorazepam (aka Ativan) to help with general anxiety disorder. It's a teeny tiny pill that I take when I first feel the onset of panic or anxiety symptoms. It dissolves under the tongue and can be taken as needed in intervals of 3 hours up to 3 pills a day.
I postponed taking my new pills yesterday because I was scared. I'm scared they will change me, change who I am. I like me; I just don't like being sad, anxious and/or angry all the time for no apparent reason. (I did take them though, so not to worry!) I wake up with anxiety some mornings, other morning I awake angry, and others yet sad and crying. How do I control that when these feelings are there before I'm even conscious in the morning? Someone told me just stop crying. Stop being sad. Go back to the person you were a year ago if it was simpler then. HOW???
To all of you that are reading this and see me or talk to me on a regular basis please let me know about the changes that are happening, if any, to me. I might not notice them but you probably will. And thank you to all of you for reading and accompanying me on my journey. Your support and understanding is greatly appreciated in more ways than you could ever know!
If you have any questions please feel free to email me. I could maybe answer them in a blog for you or help you find some answers somewhere else. We can all learn from each other and help each other in some way or another and if you are looking for someone to reach out to please use the resources in your community, your friends and your family. Build a support system that will benefit you, not deter you from becoming able to live with your mental illness or whatever the case may be.
I love you all and I hope that this is the start of a new journey in a positive direction for me. Stay tuned for updates and maybe some back issues that I never got to post! LOL! Namaste!
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