Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Toxic Relationships

I came across a link to an article about toxic relationships.  Since my life has mostly been about toxic relationships in one way or another (don't we all have at least one in our past or present?) I thought it would be a good read.  Turns out it was. And it had a list of questions to contemplate to determine if the relationship is toxic or not. I thought I would paste them below for you to ponder.  I have been pondering them myself but haven't really sat down to think about them seriously, more just letting them flop around in my brain right now.  Read, think, write, muse and, if necessary, act.
  • Is the pain too great to stay the same?
  • Do I constantly picture an alternate reality?
  • Do I need a translator to be heard?
  • Is it impossible to make boundaries?
  • Am I the only one that is willing to meet in the middle?
  • Is getting an apology (when it’s truly deserved) like pulling teeth?
  • Does this relationship take more energy than it gives?
  • Is blaming and complaining getting really old?
  • Am I completely fatigued when I’m with the person and energetic when they’re gone?
  • If it’s a romantic relationship, are the sparks dead, end of story?
  • Do I smile when I want to yell and then yell at the wrong people?
  • Is the only thing holding me back my fear of newness?
  • Am I afraid of what people will think of me if this relationship fails?
  • Does this person make me feel like I’m lost without them?
  • Do I find myself missing the old me?
  • And so on…
The hardest parts are acknowledging that you are in a toxic relationship and then doing something about it.

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